Self Belief in 7 Simple Steps

25 Oct Self Belief in 7 Simple Steps

A simple NLP technique to re-shape your mindset and boost your self-belief. Robert Dilts, one of the earliest students of Richard Bandler and John Grinder (the founders of NLP), designed a simple model for thinking about personal change and learning and developing congruence. In NLP ‘congruence’ is the word used to describe precisely how you are when you are truly yourself. It means you’re comfortable, on track and consistent. It provides a framework in which we organise and develop ourselves. Very often, here at Vet Dynamics, we talk about being ‘In Flow’ and this we would consider the same thing.

What you will need:

  • 6 pieces of A4 paper and a marker pen
  • An uninterrupted chunk of time
  • Some floorspace
  • A clear mind
  • A friend – to scribe!

 

Preparation:

Write down each of the following words on an A4 piece of paper and lay the 6 pieces of paper on the floor in front of you: Environment, Behaviour, Capabilities, Beliefs and Values, Identity, Connection

1)  Now in your mind, choose a behaviour of yours that you would like to explore. It could be trying out a new sport or fitness class, money management, learning something new, tackling a business idea or simply developing a new skill.

2)  With your behaviour chosen, step into the first space marked ‘ENVIRONMENT’ and answer the following questions either aloud or in your head:

Where are you when you engage in this area of your life?

Who do you hear and see?

Who else is there with you?

3)  Now step into the second space marked ‘BEHAVIOUR’ and answer the following questions:

What do you do when you engage in this area of your life?

What activities do you engage in?

If someone was watching you on a video, what would they see you do?

What would they hear you say?

4)  Now step into the third space marked ‘CAPABILITIES’ and answer the following questions:

What specific capabilities do you tap into in this area of your life?

What skills do you put into practice?

What areas of expertise do you draw on?

5)  Now step into the fourth space marked ‘BELIEFS & VALUES’ and answer the following questions:

What’s important about this area of your life?

Why does it matter?

What’s MOST important about it?

What’s true about this area of your life?

What would be the most important thing, for someone who loves you, to know about it?

6)  Now step into the fifth space marked ‘IDENTITY’ and answer the following questions:

Who are you in this area of your life?

Who are you when you do the things you do?

Who are you at your best in this area of your life?

Who are you at your worst in this area of your life?

7)  Now step into the sixth space marked ‘CONNECTION’. Close your eyes and take as long as you need to connect with the best and highest thing you can imagine. This would be something beyond anything you have been exploring; whether you think of that as your faith or spirituality, your highest self, your connection with others or how it all connects with the big picture of your life.

When you are ready, turn around, facing back down the path of spaces you came.

Carrying that sense of CONNECTION with you, step into the space marked ‘IDENTITY’. You’re going to retrace those steps.

Once again:

Who are you in this area of your life?

When you are ready, bring your sense of connectedness and your new or heightened sense of identity with you and step into the spaces marked ‘BELIEFS & VALUES’:

What’s true about this area of your life?

What’s important about it?

Why does it matter?

When you are ready, now carrying your sense of CONNECTION, your IDENTITY and an awareness of your BELIEFS & VALUES with you, step back into the space of ‘CAPABILITIES’:

What new or additional skills are you aware of that you draw on, or could draw on, in this area of your life?

When you are ready, still steeped in your sense of CONNECTION, IDENTITY, BELIEFS & VALUES and CAPABILITIES, step back into the space of ‘BEHAVIOUR’:

What do you do or could you do in this area of your life?

How have they changed?

How have they stayed the same?

What new things occur to you?

Finally, when you are ready, take all that you have learned and experienced along the way, back into the space of ‘ENVIRONMENT’:

Where are you?

Where else?

What do you see?

Who is there with you?

Who is no longer there?

Take all the time you need to allow all these learnings and changes you to integrate before you resume your normal activities. Some people find it helpful to have a friend walk them through the questions and scribe for them, so they can keep notes of your answers and what you have learned. You may also find the changes and insights continue to come for hours, and sometimes days, afterwards.

This is a powerful exercise, bringing about a real awareness of how you behave; enabling, empowering and facilitating change and growth.

By Debbie Robinson

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